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These last days I have been hustled by a masculine energy. While I set up the bases of my company, I sense a very masculine side develop within me. It is a strange sensation that is surprisingly illustrated even in my physical posture. I see myself sitting like a guy at the hostel to talk about certain things and solidify my inner positioning. I must admit that part of me laughed to tears realizing this, in the sense that I visualized myself there in this shot of the guy who poses almost boorishly to assert his territory. The other part, however, was a little shaken, because in the end, this need for hyper masculinity in the positioning of a company reflects insecurity on the part of the woman in me. This brought me to a larger reflection fuelled by a discussion with Delphine Blanc: what is feminine leadership?
Because it is clear that societal rules push us to act like a man when we want to position ourselves in a professional environment with the management of employees or customers and it is all the more obvious in business circles. In itself, no one really realizes it, we just see hints flourish here and there like: remarks imposing to silence the emotions with a subtle back background of our hormonal phases; wage inequality because some may be absent because of children; or still the “she acts like a guy”. In any case it seems we are wrong in our approach.

So how does one get out of the outdated societal rules? Because, today fathers participate more and more in the education of their children and we see them absent as much as women, especially with the constraints of divorced parents. We also realize that men have just as much rising emotions, except that they will be called “short fuse” or “impulsive”, even “asserted.” So how does one change these famous rules?

After a few days of hanging out with my inner boor, because unfortunately the male side that emerged was not the most beautiful of masculinity, I realized that it had come out after a meeting with a man expressing his dominance in formulating the insertion of his project in mine as if he had the power to decide. Energetically, this can be illustrated as a forced entry into my territory, into my integrity. It didn’t take much for my inner male to climb the barricades, descend the portcullis and set up the canons. Its goal? Protect me! Because clearly, I do not have to accept any collaboration under the pretext that the other is interested and sees a benefit for himself or herself that I do not see for the collective. Its efficiency? Moderate, because if it allows me not to be overrun by someone dominant, it can reject all other collaborations that are done in respect, harmony and co-creation because suddenly, I become dominant myself.

If today I could detect this change in me and trace the origin, I also found that some parts of this masculinity could be very useful and important to listen to. The job will therefore be to balance the Ying and the Yang to find the right tone, the attitude conducive to each situation and if at times the shield rises, to be attentive to allow it to lower once the feeling of threat has passed.

 

Christel Mesey

 

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Author: Christel Mesey
Website: www.joywhisperers.com – www.christelmesey.com